Greetings from the throes of my boundless hangover. At some point last night I decided to try my hand at drinking all of the sparkling wine in Napa Valley, the result of which has landed me here: tush glued to the couch, moving only to chug water (straight from the Britta) and attempt to stomach the sandwich my family bought me out of pity. Let it be known: salami is not a hangover food.
Despite my raucous night out, I've still managed to hold on to some of my brain cells and form cognitive thoughts in the light of day. Surprising, I know. Just call me your Resident Couch Philosopher. It's actually appropriate that I'd be hungover writing this piece, because alcohol/partying/all that jazz is one of, if not the, most debated topics of my self identity. In college I could party without a care, and did so unabashedly. I have actually been called a 'party girl' on more than one occasion, because that is a term that people actually use for reasons unbeknownst to me. *Cringe*. Then I became a yoga teacher. The notion suddenly occurred to me that drinking to excess might not really be such a great thing to do to your body, and that there might actually be a better use of my time. *Gasp*. On the other hand there's something wonderful about enjoying a fabulous glass of wine with friends/family, or a casual beer on Sunday afternoon. I've never been very good with limits, but alcohol is certainly not the devil.
So what's my issue? It's oft said that your 20's are for 'figuring yourself out'. First I'd like to point out the illusion that is 'figuring it out'--as if at some magical point in the future we'll have all the answers and live life without a worry in the world. Life doesn't really work that way, and thank god because how boring would that party be? We try on different identities, step outside of our boundaries, and push ourselves to find what it is we have to offer to the world. It's a noble feat, recognizing your place in this world and wanting to be your best, but a problem arises when we start equating self worth with what we're doing/thinking/feeling/eating/drinking at present.
Trying to define yourself as a 'good' or 'bad' person based on your job description or your consumption of libations is futile. Fact of the matter is: you can stop drinking, land a new job, and write as many adjective-ridden Twitter bios as you want, but at the end of the day it's just you and your bad self moving through life. So, rather than defining ourselves by what we're doing, it's more about living each day with a bit more awareness, a bit more knowledge, respect and love. If we can manage that I think we'll all be pretty well off. Not that it's easy, but you know, that's the 'goal'.
Cheers! (Too soon).